I'm sorry but...

We've all been there. We're in a fight, with a parent, a partner, a friend, and we want it to be over.


However, we're not quite ready to apologize. I mean it was at the very least both of our faults. And if you think about the fact that last Tuesday they...


I get it. One of the hardest things for me to learn in my adult life, and something I continue to work on is how to perfect the art of the apology. And yes, it really is an art. Being able to offer a sincere, "I'm sorry" that:

  • conveys your understanding of what you did wrong;

  • doesn't come saddled with a bunch of caveats; and,

  • expects no return apology

...is incredibly difficult. That being said, so is fighting with a loved one.


Here are some questions to ask yourself to figure out if you're ready to offer a genuine apology.

  • Do you understand the part you played in the fight? Can you articulate what you did? Are there things you would change or do differently?

  • Can you think about the situation without immediately launching into a litany of the ways the other person is at fault? How angry do you still feel, on a scale from 10 (The Hulk) to 1 (Kenneth from 30 Rock).

  • Are you ready to walk away from the fight without re-opening it later? What currently ranks highest, proving that you're right or the ability to be at peace with this person?

  • How will you feel if the other person is still angry? Are you comfortable apologizing even if you don't receive one in return?