I'm sorry but...
We've all been there. We're in a fight, with a parent, a partner, a friend, and we want it to be over.
However, we're not quite ready to apologize. I mean it was at the very least both of our faults. And if you think about the fact that last Tuesday they...
I get it. One of the hardest things for me to learn in my adult life, and something I continue to work on is how to perfect the art of the apology. And yes, it really is an art. Being able to offer a sincere, "I'm sorry" that:
conveys your understanding of what you did wrong;
doesn't come saddled with a bunch of caveats; and,
expects no return apology
...is incredibly difficult. That being said, so is fighting with a loved one.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to figure out if you're ready to offer a genuine apology.
Do you understand the part you played in the fight? Can you articulate what you did? Are there things you would change or do differently?
Can you think about the situation without immediately launching into a litany of the ways the other person is at fault? How angry do you still feel, on a scale from 10 (The Hulk) to 1 (Kenneth from 30 Rock).
Are you ready to walk away from the fight without re-opening it later? What currently ranks highest, proving that you're right or the ability to be at peace with this person?
How will you feel if the other person is still angry? Are you comfortable apologizing even if you don't receive one in return?